Marriage Equality - Tattoo Marriage

Tattooed Marriage

At the location of a recently built casino in Michigan, Rheanna and I were walking along the new slot machines; holding hands; smiling. I was excited, the happiest person in the world, as we were newly married. At the same time disappointed in my nation as being lesbians, we are an oversight to the government. Looking at my left wrist, feeling some tenderness, I admire new art work that was “inked” on my wrist and I look at Rheanna’s right wrist comparing her new tattoo to mine. In order to relish in my happiness, I looked into her eyes; proclaimed my love for her as I kissed her cheek. She smiled and snuggled up next to me while holding my arm as we searched for the Wizard of Oz slot machines.

Two hours before our tour of the casino, Rheanna and I had a rare opportunity to go out as we have seven children all which are Rheanna’s. We left our house quickly, as the little ones were sure to follow; we hurried into our tiny Geo Tracker and hit the highway.
“So….what do you wanna do tonight honey?” I asked.
“Um. I don’t care.” Rheanna chuckled.
I sighed and had no suggestion to offer. Rheanna couldn’t think of anything either. As I passed the casino, I suggested we go there and have my sister Melissa and her beau join us for few drinks. Rheanna liked the idea and I texted Melissa, however, Melissa and her beau would not be able to meet with us until an hour later. I had a crazy thought, however, I took a chance and suggested that we each get a tattoo to kill some time. Rheanna laughed but loved the thought.

So we drove over to Gash’s Tattoo Shop just outside of Battle Creek. We entered the building cautiously as we had never been there nor heard of the place. We casually walked up to view the artwork display while we waited for the tattooist to speak with us.
“How can I help ya all?” the tattooist inquired.
“We’re thinking about getting some tattoos…so what’s the wait period?” Rheanna asked as there were 4 young women there.
“Ah…about 45 min. Take a look through the artwork and pick out something or I can design for ya all.” the tattooist replied.
Rheanna and I took our time and looked though the artwork, few stood out to both of us. I looked at Rheanna and promptly proposed that we get a matching tattoo.
“haha ha what? Are you serious? That’s pretty serious stuff….like getting married” shocked Rheanna replied. This action would be equal to going to a court house and applying and getting a marriage license.

I mentioned that we had been together for over a year and already living together. I held her hand and said that I didn’t care if marriage would not be a real deal, however, in our heart, it will be. It has to be. Michigan does not recognize same sex marriages. If we were to travel to any state that supported same sex marriage, it still would not be recognized by the state of Michigan. We are lifelong residents of Michigan and Michigan sadly is our home and where our families are at. Rheanna agreed knowing that I would do anything within my power to take care of her and our children. We took our time and carefully chose an artwork as our marriage will be bound in ink and flesh. We chose the artwork which was a black rose within a black circular and vines, leaves extending outward wrapping our wrists. This “marriage license” was put on each other’s writing hand, as to proclaim our love for each other.

When our “vows” (tattoo) was completed, the tattooist wanted to take pictures of the work to commemorate our bond. We drove over to the casino and met up with my sister Melissa and her beau Scott. After a quick hug and hello, I announced to Melissa and Scott that Rheanna and I are now married. Fighting back tears, Melissa smiled and gave us big bear hugs and said she was very happy for us. I knew Melissa would have wanted to be my best man. Perhaps she was fighting back tears as we can’t have a real wedding. We hung out for a bit in the bar inside the casino for an hour before walking around looking for the slots to play on.

There I am, walking around at a casino with my new wife, as happy as we could be, yet still disappointed to an extent. I sent mass of text messages to everyone I know announcing our marriage. They all replied back with happiness, wanting pictures of our new tattoos. I still am disturbed by the simple fact that I can not be legally married, as the heterosexuals can be. What if something were to happen to me? What if my wife needed something but I could not get it or give it to her because of legal issue? If I was in a coma and the time has come to unplug the machines keeping me alive, it would be my next of kin which would be my mother, not my wife Rheanna. My mother would have absolute control over who can visit me in the hospital, my medical treatments, my burial, my funeral. Not my wife who has stood by me and took care of me and has vowed to be with me in health and in sickness.

I would have liked to have our family and friends in our backyard formally dressed, as they sit in rows of folding chairs facing in a certain direction. I would have liked to experience as far as the inconvenience of driving to the courthouse and filling out the marriage application. I wanted to experience seeing Rheanna come down in her beautiful wedding gown escorted by her grandfather Duane. The applause that we would receive from our family and friends as we are announced as Mrs. & Mrs. Deb and Rheanna Varino. Experiences such as this are protected by the first amendment of Bill of Rights. Freedom of speech and religion are not protected in our case. We are being silenced; forbidden to share our union with anyone. Ninth amendment of Bill of Rights provides protections of rights not specifically listed in Bill of Rights. We are American citizens and we are not only denied one but two of the Bill of Rights.

I decided to look up the term marriage to determine if the term is already pre-determined that marriage is for male and female couple only.
Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary: (1) the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law : (2) the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage (same sex marriages). Interestingly, I came across another act that was passed on July 2nd of 1964 that explicitly states every homo sapiens (regardless of nationality, race or sex) in America are equal. Rheanna and I do not feel that we are being treated equal in our country. I have several family members that served for this country, latest was my brother had served 2 straight years in Iraq. They are also saddened by the fact that I can not marry someone of my own sex, saddened by the fact my rights are being denied due to DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). Defense of Marriage Act forbids same sex marriage in the entire United States. In 1996, the state of Michigan lawmakers changed the definition of a marriage to “a unique relationship between a man and a woman” and also includes that a sex can not marry its own sex. Even if we got married in California, Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont, Massachusetts, or New Hampshire, our marriage would not be recognized by the state of Michigan. Michigan’s constitution bans same-sex marriage and some or all other kinds of same-sex unions.

After furthering my research, I have come to the conclusion that Rheanna and I will have to travel to Canada and get married in their country. I do not wish to have Michigan recognize an international marriage but until Michigan or the United States government allows same sex marriages, this will have to do. The dream wedding I mentioned will not come true as none of our family and friends will be able to travel to Canada and witness our wedding. We have to pay 225% more for a marriage license in Canada as well as a passport in order to enter into Canada. Weddings are expensive, but even more so when you are forced to leave your country to “tie the knot”.

I can only hope that by the time Rheanna and I are put into nursing/retirement home, we will be allowed to reside together and spent our last days together. You, the readers, would have wanted the same for yourself. We are not asking for special treatments nor special rights. We are asking for our rights that were granted by the United State constitution. Imagine being denied for a loan to purchase your home, simply because your marriage is not “legal”. Imagine your employer sending you a letter of denial of health insurance to your spouse because your “marriage” is not legal. Your marriage is not real, is the federal and state government’s take on same sex marriage. It is so real; there are many of us walking among you and your family. We do not look any different nor bleed a different color. Why do we have to fight for our rights when it has been given to us when the Bill of Rights was written in 1791, over two hundred years ago? First and ninth amendments have not been changed since, why change it now? 

UPDATE : Rheanna and I are no longer together.  At least I didn't have to go through lengthy, messy, and stressful divorce process.